This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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