Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I understand Curling. That high.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
