put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"