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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (239): View more from Florida

  You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.

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  These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant

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• (281): View more from Texas

  And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.

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• (433): View more from

  Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?

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• (310): View more from California

  He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend

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