is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
