Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection