Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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