I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
