This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize