just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
wakey wakey hands off snakey
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
