i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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