wanna go halves on a baby?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
