I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize