I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
