I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
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I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
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i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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