You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
