i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
