it wasn't lemon gatorade
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
