I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
