Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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