butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
