I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
