I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
