Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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