Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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