My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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