Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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