you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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