I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
