Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I need to calm my uterus...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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