hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I am available for nakedness
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
