You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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