Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
