that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
