Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
