the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
