you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
