I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
