You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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