I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
two words...techno handjob
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
