The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Small penises have feelings too.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
