I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
