The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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