so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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