did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
