Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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