last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
