OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
