There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
