this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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