So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I believe in your delicious
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
