You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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