i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
