I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
