so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
