can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
