Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
