you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
