U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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